Must be. . . .

The idea of it must be better than the real thing I suppose.

If this is so I must say fantasy and reality mustn’t be related.

Sips tea….

Reality. Sweet soulful sounds somewhat similar to scatting. I think…

You know free from judgment, drama, and fear.

A language only the resilient ones seem to recognize.

(Old Woman) Might I add to this notion?

Why sure you may…

(Old Woman) The idea of you is the real you. A force to be reckoned, respected, and valued as a child of the creator and fearless woman. But if “the idea of you were better than you” then the reality of you must be far much more superior than the idea of you darling. Flaws and All young lady, accept and forgive yourself first.

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Vanish

You don’t love me when I’m smiling

You kick me down and then remind me of the times I smiled

You feel better when I’m beneath you.

You feed me lies and confusion, it entertains you.

You don’t listen to me. You’d rather be right and me be wrong instead of being in harmony

You think I should change, but you’re perfect

I wonder if your heart is cold or frozen.

Maybe I should vanish into the bliss of my own heart. The voice in my own head. Maybe I should let you fly free.

Since you never see what’s right, but only what’s wrong with me.

Twisted

His ways are made to bend my mind

I ask him why does he insult me

He says because I ignore him,

but he yells…

I say “yes I understand you”

Now can we make up and hug?

He says “No, get tf out of my way”

His twisted ways he holds over my head

His twisted ways are full of resentment

His twisted ways keeps him distant

His twisted ways are unforgiving…

He is twisted, but so am I

Twisted to believe that I am in the right place at the right time

Twisted to believe that we will rise above, but I still can’t see tomorrow

Enough Prt 2

would it be enough for you to say that you were wrong

would it be enough for you to miss me when I’m gone

Losing my balance over a lack of accountability it’s killing me softly

Im drowning in coffee

I need my senses back they left my senses black

Nobody cares so feelings we spare until therapy is in session it’s been a while since poetry left me feeling aware

Maybe it’s about time I set those boundaries…where was I wrong???

But don’t be surprised when the better me has arrived

I want my life back I’m taking back what you illegally stole.

My joy.

DELAY

March 22, 2018 I was excited and happy to be releasing new music….I enjoyed creating my promo campaign, receiving motivation from my brother @levidennis and the idea that my music could still be heard. Then, as always, life throws a blow your way and alters your faith all over again. The song isn’t ready to be released due to technical issues with the mix (I noticed myself develop a habit of promoting songs and not releasing them because they aren’t or weren’t “ready”)I’ve also had a hard time finding a great enough sound that best fits my style of music and even accepting that I am not just a rapper, poet, but also a pretty great singer.

Well, anyway, “Lavender Scents” is that song for me, but also a moment of emotional and creative cleansing & when I was told it wasn’t ready to be released I felt like “here I go again letting the my supporters down and speaking too soon”

After pausing my frustration I began to believe it was meant to be delayed. Simply because I needed to bloom with the song, I needed to be that woman who wrote that song and is actually living and feeling the beauty present in this song, even with it being written 3 years ago.

So I decided after being imprisioned, criticized, humiliated, mistreated, bullied, suicidal, and hopeless. It was time to destroy the old and rebuild, so I asked myself how do I want to feel for the rest of my life….CALM & RELAXED were the terms that came to mind and I began to brainstorm ideas and ways to incorporate those feelings back into my life….I started using lavender oil all over my skin, I surrounded myself with purple lighting, read more books, reflected on how much I have grown, how much I have accomplished, who has really kept me inspired and been my anchor, my mental health and well being, and what it was that I wanted from life, which is intangible and unshakable happiness, grace, and mercy, to be who I was called to be and do what I was called to do. Not to just help myself, but anyone who has ever felt guilty or ashamed of being great. Since moving to LA I’ve learned you are a being of many colors and have a right to be brilliant.

Being here is still new to me, losing a grandmother is new to me, loving myself the way the creator wants me to, letting someone else love me the way the creator wants is new to me. Embracing this level of responsibility and independence is new to me.

Please bare with me while I adjust to this reality…as a Survivor and forgive me for the delay to everyone expecting to hear my song on 3/22/2018.

“Lavender Scents” will be available on http://www.ronimarsalis.com this Thursday, 4/12/2018

No more running,

Thank you for your unwavering support 🙏🏾-Roni Marsalis