Farewell…

I loved you. You loved me.

You hurt me & I hurt you.

I cried for you and with you

& you played with my emotions

Maybe it’s me and I am lost

But I gave you my devotion

You left me on hold and kept limits on me and our love.

You were special unlike any other lover I’ve had. Selfless, thoughtful, and full of depth.

I learned a lot from you, but my soul inside has nothing left…

I feel empty, all alone, left stuck in the middle.

But nothing changed it remained the same. Too much pride, too much resentment, too much neglect, and confusion.

We were supposed to be partners, I had dreams of us taking over together, but you didn’t know how to love me. I didn’t know how to love you.

Or maybe even learn you.

Somehow we became enemies, but I wish nothing but the best for you.

A life that no longer stresses you. A partner who brings out the best in you. One you can share your beautiful soul with and grow old and glow with.

Forever and always.

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Must be. . . .

The idea of it must be better than the real thing I suppose.

If this is so I must say fantasy and reality mustn’t be related.

Sips tea….

Reality. Sweet soulful sounds somewhat similar to scatting. I think…

You know free from judgment, drama, and fear.

A language only the resilient ones seem to recognize.

(Old Woman) Might I add to this notion?

Why sure you may…

(Old Woman) The idea of you is the real you. A force to be reckoned, respected, and valued as a child of the creator and fearless woman. But if “the idea of you were better than you” then the reality of you must be far much more superior than the idea of you darling. Flaws and All young lady, accept and forgive yourself first.

Vanish

You don’t love me when I’m smiling

You kick me down and then remind me of the times I smiled

You feel better when I’m beneath you.

You feed me lies and confusion, it entertains you.

You don’t listen to me. You’d rather be right and me be wrong instead of being in harmony

You think I should change, but you’re perfect

I wonder if your heart is cold or frozen.

Maybe I should vanish into the bliss of my own heart. The voice in my own head. Maybe I should let you fly free.

Since you never see what’s right, but only what’s wrong with me.

Twisted

His ways are made to bend my mind

I ask him why does he insult me

He says because I ignore him,

but he yells…

I say “yes I understand you”

Now can we make up and hug?

He says “No, get tf out of my way”

His twisted ways he holds over my head

His twisted ways are full of resentment

His twisted ways keeps him distant

His twisted ways are unforgiving…

He is twisted, but so am I

Twisted to believe that I am in the right place at the right time

Twisted to believe that we will rise above, but I still can’t see tomorrow

Enough Prt 2

would it be enough for you to say that you were wrong

would it be enough for you to miss me when I’m gone

Losing my balance over a lack of accountability it’s killing me softly

Im drowning in coffee

I need my senses back they left my senses black

Nobody cares so feelings we spare until therapy is in session it’s been a while since poetry left me feeling aware

Maybe it’s about time I set those boundaries…where was I wrong???

But don’t be surprised when the better me has arrived

I want my life back I’m taking back what you illegally stole.

My joy.