Why does this energy keep coming back to me?
Will I ever be free?
The lonely parts of me depend on you.
The bitter parts of me resent you.
The immature parts of me are nervous in front of you.
The strong parts of me are vulnerable for you.
Why you again?
Why me again?
I’m stubborn. I’m sensitive.
I won’t move.
Although I need your love.
I breathe your love.
This energy keeps coming back to me…
Maybe I am free.
Feeling lonely & Torn apart.
I mean I’m alone, not lonely
I’m finding my balance.
No regrets and ditching salads
My opinion of me is always valid.
They want me to fail
They want me to win
But I asked myself what did I want
& the answer was deep within
A place I call home, a place I feel free,
A place where I’m open
A place for you and me.
In this place I find a challenge
In this place I find my fears
In this place I shut my eyez
Shut my mouth and enjoy the rise
In this place all eyes are on us
But we don’t care.
In us we trust.
Today was the first day of my new life.
Tried on some dresses.
Made a flyer for my party.
& worked from 9-5 🤑
Last night I went out to blow off some steam, my family came to visit and I bit this bullet of mental slavery and just went out.
I’ve kind of put myself in this bubble that says “No fun, School, Work, Religion, Family, & Maybe a boyfriend”
Like where is my identity in this? Where does this mindset make any sense? It doesn’t, & yeah I’ve made my fair share of mistakes when out and having “fun” but you’re 23 Ronisha. You still have a lot to look forward too.
Yes you’ve fell off and that’s alright, dust it off and see the best.
Yes, “Kanye West- All Falls Down” is still the theme song for any black woman in college right now because of the “security” or “safety net” it provides.
It’s taken so much to reprogram my thoughts and be reborn again. To trust in my womanly assets and
I mean the woman who does her own hair and make-up
The woman who repeats outfits
The woman who can still fit her jeans and tops from 7th grade lol
The hustling woman…..
The courageous woman…..
The god fearing woman…..
So thanks to my baby cousin Kelsey and my auntie Kim I went out & you know what I had the time of my life