March 22, 2018 I was excited and happy to be releasing new music….I enjoyed creating my promo campaign, receiving motivation from my brother @levidennis and the idea that my music could still be heard. Then, as always, life throws a blow your way and alters your faith all over again. The song isn’t ready to be released due to technical issues with the mix (I noticed myself develop a habit of promoting songs and not releasing them because they aren’t or weren’t “ready”)I’ve also had a hard time finding a great enough sound that best fits my style of music and even accepting that I am not just a rapper, poet, but also a pretty great singer.
Well, anyway, “Lavender Scents” is that song for me, but also a moment of emotional and creative cleansing & when I was told it wasn’t ready to be released I felt like “here I go again letting the my supporters down and speaking too soon”
After pausing my frustration I began to believe it was meant to be delayed. Simply because I needed to bloom with the song, I needed to be that woman who wrote that song and is actually living and feeling the beauty present in this song, even with it being written 3 years ago.
So I decided after being imprisioned, criticized, humiliated, mistreated, bullied, suicidal, and hopeless. It was time to destroy the old and rebuild, so I asked myself how do I want to feel for the rest of my life….CALM & RELAXED were the terms that came to mind and I began to brainstorm ideas and ways to incorporate those feelings back into my life….I started using lavender oil all over my skin, I surrounded myself with purple lighting, read more books, reflected on how much I have grown, how much I have accomplished, who has really kept me inspired and been my anchor, my mental health and well being, and what it was that I wanted from life, which is intangible and unshakable happiness, grace, and mercy, to be who I was called to be and do what I was called to do. Not to just help myself, but anyone who has ever felt guilty or ashamed of being great. Since moving to LA I’ve learned you are a being of many colors and have a right to be brilliant.
Being here is still new to me, losing a grandmother is new to me, loving myself the way the creator wants me to, letting someone else love me the way the creator wants is new to me. Embracing this level of responsibility and independence is new to me.
Please bare with me while I adjust to this reality…as a Survivor and forgive me for the delay to everyone expecting to hear my song on 3/22/2018.
“Lavender Scents” will be available on http://www.ronimarsalis.com this Thursday, 4/12/2018
No more running,
Thank you for your unwavering support 🙏🏾-Roni Marsalis