Month: August 2022

Reliable

RoniFeathersLeave a comment

Today is the day my sister left us…she probably felt there was somewhere better than earth.

& Today is also they day I could see why she wanted to go.

Feeling unworthy because of another persons actions,

Aspiring for someone to treat you how you would like to be treated.

I mean really, how are we supposed to value ourselves when our direct environment isn’t showing us a good example.

Today I needed to find a handyman when I nearly broke down once I realized how many selfish men I’ve come across that could careless if my desires were met.

I’ve went years numb to this reality. The only time I can depend on a job getting done is if I’m either paying someone or if my grandpa does it for me. Most guys want to exchange something even if it’s good ole uncomfortable flirting. Just to get some help.

Hell, I have never had a reliable man in my life.

My sister didn’t either…

I’m all for being independent, but I also love help.

I’ve never felt the way I felt today and it was weird.

I never realized how difficult it is to process the emotions of a missing parent, being accustomed to bits and pieces so young and accepting it. To now realizing the damage and wanting out.

I don’t want to leave yet, but I do see how not having a genuine male figure in a woman’s life can cause more harm in her ability to ask for and expect more form a man. The settling for anything syndrome.

I never thought it bothered me until now and I’m feeling like I’d prefer a reliable partner.

To the many women out there a reliable, appreciative, and thoughtful partner is better than a popular busy one.

Find peace and don’t give up. I wish my sister fought a little harder, but I didn’t know until now how hard she was struggling until I needed male help.